72 Hours

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The last 72 hours will need to be blogged more in depth–but here are the highlights:

Friday:  8:00–Brendan forgot a paper and I promised to get it for him and bring it to school.  In the process of looking it up, I realize I have major computer problems,

9:00 got oil change and spoke comfort to woman dealing with mother in first stage of Alzheimer’s,

10:00: helped with Jumprope for Heart for Sophie and Mollie–had a good conversation with Angela afterwards,

11:30–delivered paper to Brendan at school,

12:00–got the dog’s medicine,

1:00-3:00 Waiting for the sofa man, who does not come.   

1:00 talked with Chris.  Then spoke with Leah, the hospice nurse.  Leah said Nicole was in last stages and would probably pass away within 72 hours.  Talked with Chris again at length.

2:00 working on computer problem

3:00 got to get girls, try to call sofa guys and can’t get through. 

4:00 Maggie and Brendan come home.  I get through to sofa guys.  They are coming at 6:30

5:00 dinner

6:00 take Brendan to swim practice

6:30  See Chris at the Y–was it OK to leave Maggie with the sofa guys?  We call.  The sofa has been released and landed in our bedroom.

7:30  Bring Brendan home then head over to see Nicole.

8:30 I come home and Chris goes to be with Nicole

9:00 Put everyone to bed and work on computer problem. 

11:00 Nicole is not doing well, Chris comes home to get some things, thinking he may spend the night

12:00 I bake a coffee cake and peanut butter bars.  Computer problem better.

1:00  Chris come home–thinks she is OK until morning.  We talk a bit, then get ready for bed.

1:46  We have just gotten in bed.  We get a call that Nicole has passed away.  Chris gets dressed and goes back to nursing home.

2:30  he comes back and we go to sleep (sort of)

Saturday

8:00 We get up.  I need to leave with Maggie and a friend to go to a swim meet that is 120 miles away. 

9:00 Friend comes over with grandparents, whom we like a lot.  We get in the car to go.

11:00-7:00 At swim meet.  I try to work a bit on the trial assignments I have from two publishers.  I’m hoping to get a paid assignment to write curriculum. Maggie does six races, including a 500 freestyle–by far the longest she’s swum in competition.  The chlorine in the air is killing my eyes.  Somewhere in the middle of the meet, I remember that we need to move out Nicole’s furniture from the nursing home.  Chris starts working on that.  While he is there, Sophie has a melt-down tantrum.  Brendan tries to lock her in the garage.  “That didn’t work,” he reports.  Chris comes home and turns on The Little Rascals and gives them chocolate.

6:00-9:30– I drive home, stopping for a terrible chicken dinner–should have gotten pizza like the kids.

9:30-11:00–Chris and I finally get a chance to talk about his mom’s death and our experiences with her towards the end.  Chris tells me about an amazing phone call he had this afternoon.  It was from France, but it was not his relatives.  Instead, it was the son-in-law and daughter of Christine, who was Nicole’s best friend from childhood.  Christine’s daughter, Elaine, had visited with Christopher’s family one summer when she was in high school.  He hadn’t talked to her since the 1970s, although his mother had called Christine regularly until about 3 years ago.  They told him that Christine had died just 5 days ago.  What a strange surprise that both of these friends died in the same week. 

11:30 sleep

Sunday

7:30 Get up and get everyone ready for church

9:00 Driving to church (which is 3 miles from our house) Chris takes a wrong turn and we get lost.  Although we are usually early, today we are late.  I guess that is OK  It helps to talk with the Sunday school class about Nicole’s death, but I don’t go out of my way to tell other people.  I just don’t have the energy.

11:30 Lunch with our good friends Leon and Jill (and their beautiful adopted daughters)–as always, it is wonderful to talk with them.  They’ve been on this road with us with my in-laws for a while.  I can feel their prayers.

1:0o Drive the kids home.

1:30 Meet with funeral director to make arrangements for direct cremation.  We will take her ashes to California to be buried next to her husband and son this summer.

2:30  Come home and take the seats out of both vans.  Drive over to nursing home.  Load up the vans with the furniture.  Since everyone in the nursing home was in the lobby visiting relatives, we ended up being quite the afternoon entertainment. 

“Martha, that’s the T.V.” 

 “Are they moving in?” 

 “No, that’s Nicole’s things.” 

“Martha, that’s the sofa.” 

“What?” 

 “THE SOFA!”

4:00 Come home.  Get Maggie and bring her to church.  Go back home and unload the two vans, vacuum them and then put the seats back in.

5:15  Get the kids together to take them to AWANAS at church

7:30 Back from AWANAS, food, brush teeth, stories for little ones, bedtime, story for big ones, bedtime. 

9:30 On the computer to blog.

It has been a long 72 hours.

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2 responses »

  1. I love you and am praying for you. That His grace may abound in this time. That His arms of comfort are around you. That He is your source of strength and sustenance. That you may find peace in the shadow of His wing and rest in the palm of His hand. He is your strong tower; today and tomorrow… in the midst of all the demands of your life — from papers to dog medicine to Sunday school classes to moving furniture — my prayer is that you and Chris are able to carve out time for yourselves together. Time to grieve and to remember. To breathe. My prayer is that you are able to slow down and even to stop. To allow His spirit to rest on you and fill you to overflowing. We all need to cease striving and know that He is God — sometimes when we grapple with sorrow and loss and pain and suffering and this creation that groans louder and louder — that’s when we need to know His strength and power most. He is God and He is good. And He is always present in our greatest times of need.

  2. Thanks so much Carrie. I can really feel your prayers. We’ve all felt a heaviness. Even the kids, especially Steffi who spent a lot of time with Meme since she was always with me at the doctor’s appointments and visits. In fact, I realized that since my in-laws moved here two months after she came home from China, her whole life has been involved in their care. It helps that we went through this six months ago with Michael. I know it just takes time.

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