Category Archives: humor

Steffi’s First Joke

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    Steffi continues to be a delight.  I’ve had at least four of her teachers at church and school pull me aside to say, “I just love her.  She is just so wonderful. She is so sweet.”  That is true.  Yet she has also become rather stubborn at times and she will deliberately slow down when we are trying to get somewhere or get something done.  Although it can be annoying, I know it is good for an “always obedient” child (especially an adopted one) to feel safe enough to disobey sometimes. 

   Another joke, this one from Mollie (I’ll have to make a page about it).  I was praying for the girls and thanking God for each one being special, and playing on a book I read the kids all the time which talks about all kids being the favorites of the parents, I said, “and we thank you God for our Steffi, who is always everyone’s favorite.” 

Mollie burst out, “She’s not MY favorite!”

Sophie and I looked up and laughed.

“Well,” stammered Mollie, “She’s NOT!”

I guess we need to work on the “love others” part of the Great Commandment.

Ode to Der Wienerschnizel

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After taking Violet for her haircut, we decided to go out to lunch at Der Wienerschnitzel.  I remembered going to an A-frame one after library trips in my hometown, Riverside.  Chris and I once went there on a date before a Baylor concert, eating polish sandwiches outside and watching the busy intersection of Franklin and New Road.  On this trip, we thought it was odd they were out of corn dogs.  When you only have four menu items, you shouldn’t run out of one of them.  However, the kids were consoled by these really marvelous chocolate covered cones.  Plus, we enjoyed watching the grackle antics.  The next week, we drove by to find the Hot dogs gone, replaced by a sleezy “Loans on your Car Title” joint.  Goodbye Der Wienerschnizel.  Thanks for the memories.

Note:  I’m still remodeling–working on painting the outside and finishing painting and plastering the inside.  However, I’m also going to try to get back to blogging at least a few days a week.   I didn’t write down what I used for this layout, but I think everything comes from Scrapgirls–my favorite!

becoming a texan

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cowgirl boots copy

All throughout my second trip to China, I was introducing myself as living in Texas but actually being a Californian. Someone finally asked, “How long have you lived in Texas?” 

“Fourteen years,” I said. 

He laughed, “Admit it! You’re a Texan!” 

Even if I never really understand the Alamo, or memorize the six flags that flew over Texas, I am glad to live here and especially glad to raise my children in this state.  It didn’t take long to find out that if you are a kid in Texas, you’d better have a cowboy outfit.  We’ve bought several second-hand boots and anyone who can fit into them is welcome to wear them.  Texas two-step, here we come!

(layout: MarialaFrance Harvest halloween solid, joyful heart designs plain jane brown string, joyful heart designs friendship paper 3, ams dsd freebie flowerclip, frame1bymanu70)

Goldfish Heaven

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goldfish-heaven-copyWhy is it that five year olds have spiritual questions that none of my previous Bible readingevolution in the Bible, or even the problem of evil and suffering.  Instead, while riding in the car listening to Larry singing, “Oh, Where is my Hairbrush?” I get this question from the far left carseat at the back of the van, “Mom, did Jesus come down and take the goldfish up to heaven?”

We have a problem with the goldfish.  I admit it was my idea to try and see if feeder goldfish (feeder, as in, they are sold for 10 cents to feed to your snake) could survive in the pretty blue birdbath by our front door.  They didn’t.  Or at least the first batch didn’t when I changed the water. All nine of them went bottoms up the next day.  So I’ve been more careful with the second batch, but as of yesterday, we only have four out of nine left. 

I always tell my kids I will not lie to them about anything.  I will always tell the truth (hence no tooth fairy or Santa Claus).  Moreover, I try to be as theologically accurate as I can.  I’m just not sure where to go on this question.  I answer anyway,  “I don’t think Jesus is taking them to heaven.  They died.”  Steffi replied,  “Then Jesus took them to heaven?” I try again: “Actually, I just sort of scooped them up and put them in the flower bed.” 

Steffi:  “You buried them?”

Me:  “uh…Yeah.”

Steffi:  “Then Jesus took them to heaven!  He’s a good guy.”

I guess I’ll just have to go with that.

(layout: ASharrow Friendship paper 1 and 2, JHD playtime words paper, joyful heart designs orange paper, AGE friendship flower, joyful heart designs fiber)

Sofa in the Hall, part 2

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Quite a while back, I told the story of how our new sofa got stuck in the hallway, halfway to its destination:  our bedroom.  Due to some unforseen problems with the furniture company’s delivery procedures, it was stuck there for a week.  We got used to using the bathroom that came before the sofa (I had to stock it with lots of extra toilet paper) and with stepping over the sofa to get into the bedrooms beyond it.  I discovered that I really didn’t need much from my bedroom for most of the day anyway.  Finally, Friday arrived and the magic sofa extractor men took five minutes to move it into the right place.

Voila!  End of story.  Except it wasn’t.  The more we sat on the sofa the more we thought about how uncomfortable it was for working with a laptop (the main purpose for the couch was to replace a desk).  The more we looked at the sofa, the more we thought about how it was the wrong color.  We phoned.  They assured us the magic couch extractor guys could indeed take that couch out and give us a new one.  We just had to decide which one we wanted.  Just that.

We went back to the store.  Sure enough, we liked the couch we had more than any of the others.  So why was it so wrong in our house?

Chris had decided he wanted a reclining couch.  There weren’t many choices.  We finally settled on a light beige one which, frankly, looked like a very ugly color to me, but Christopher declared it to be the most comfortable.  Comfort–that was a criteria I could hold onto.

Miraculously, the couch guys were able to do the switch in just one visit.  Gingerly, we tried out the new couch.  It looked great, it felt great.  It was just the right color.  Who could have guessed?

(layout: papers are BMU Chronicles from Scrapgirls, DCDesigns Friendship from digital freebees, Alpha is CJS Vineyard cardboard alpha, Family frame brush from scrapgirls, winner token from scrapgirls and green swirl element is from blue and green spring kit from digital freebees)

dead man polling

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Earlier this week I got a phone call from a woman who asked for “Michael.”  Knowing from the tone of her voice and the hum in the background that this was one of those impersonal calls, I assumed she’d gotten my husband’s middle name wrong and just said, “He isn’t here,” which was the truth.  Of course, I was expecting her to go on and do her pitch, but this time she actually just said, “Thank you,” and hung up.  Only after I put the phone in the receiver did I realize that she was probably calling for my deceased father-in-law, who I realized, was also “not here,” just in a different way.  Satisfied with my joke, I forgot the call. 

Until today, when Christopher got another phone call.  I could hear both sides of the conversation and recognized the voice.  Christopher correctly recognized that she was asking for his father and mentioned that he was deceased.  Then he noted that he was his father’s guardian and could help her if she had any business she needed to discuss.  “No,” she replied, “I’m just calling from Senator—–‘s office.  We are taking a poll on opinions about the pro-life debate. ” 

What does a deceased man think about pro-life issues?  That’s a poll worth hearing about.

Pet revelations

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This year is a time for re-evaluation for me.  For instance: for the last thirteen years, I’ve said I was not a pet person.  I would tell people I had far too much work to do in raising my five blessings.  Yet lately, I’ve been the one actually suggesting we get new pets.  Christopher said to me, “I think you actually like animals.” 

Do I?  As a kid, we always had a cat or a dog.  I also had a guinea pig, a hamster, goldfish and a lot of tropical fish.  When I was a single teacher, I still had cats, and I aquired a couple of snakes (I enjoyed them a lot), a rat (great classroom pet), hermit crabs and finches.  From about five until about fourteen, I really, really wanted a horse.  As we’ve visited the pet stores recently, I’ve found myself telling the kids about all these pets and how much I enjoyed learning about them.  Looking at the cute miniature dogs also sold by Ramona the parrot lady, I even found myself thinking about getting a second dog.  Am I crazy?

Revelation: reluctantly or not, I guess I’m a pet lover after all.  Furthermore, when everyone heads off to school next year, I think I will be very glad to have the noise of the parakeet, the nuisance of the dog, and the attitude of the cat to keep me company.

(layout: The journaling on this layout came from my previous post on Budgies.  I liked what I had written and wanted a layout to match. Template 137 dittersfreedoodles.blogspot.com, paper: retrodiva tweet-tweet, embellishments marialafrance-friendship birdies)